The Darling Buds of May

May 30, 2020 at 10:42 PM | Posted in Current Events, Musings | Leave a comment

I think it’s safe to say that this particular summer will go down in history as one of the worst in the world, if not the worst. May is a summer month here in the Philippines and summertime fun has now been replaced with daily news of the pandemic, lockdowns, job losses, and economic downturn. It’s been pretty rough since the community quarantine has been imposed last March. The last time I checked, there are over 17,000 cases of COVID-19 infection in my country and a death toll of 950. Some countries had it worst. And now there are riots happening across the US due to the unlawful death of George Floyd. Times are rough indeed for people around the world.

This month has been particularly trying for me. I’ve been working from home full time since March and haven’t been outside my condo for 75 days. In the past weeks I found myself having a difficult time working because of the heat. It’s been scorching here – reaching around 39 to 42 degrees in the past weeks. But now it’s near the end of summer and restrictions are slowly easing. Hopefully, it will get better in the coming months.

Always Outside Looking In

October 18, 2019 at 11:46 PM | Posted in Mental Health, Musings | Leave a comment
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You know that feeling when you think you belong to a group but you’re actually not? I get that most of the time. I am an introvert with a bad case of social anxiety. I am awkward around people, and most of the time I don’t know what to say to them or how to react to certain situations. And that’s why most people perceive me as cold and aloof. Because I don’t talk much. I don’t smile much.

I’m not inclined to respond to small talk, especially about mundane things. If something doesn’t pique my interest, I have very little reaction to it. I mean, I try to be sociable. God knows I try. But it’s just hard for me. And it can be very stressful trying to be sociable, especially around people I don’t know very well.

Maybe that’s why even when I’m part of a few groups I still feel like an outsider. Conversations happen in front of me or around me, but there are times when I feel like I’m being excluded because I can’t keep up with their chatter or with their humor. I’m in the circle but I’m not really in it. I’m just looking in.

Woke

August 25, 2019 at 3:18 PM | Posted in Musings, TV | Leave a comment

I grew up at a time when society’s perception of women in general was still traditional and backwards. Even in the media and on TV back then, I was used to seeing women being portrayed mainly as housewives who do all the household chores while the men work or play sports. That, or women were portrayed as only sex objects to be played around by men.

Growing up in a traditional household and with strict Catholic upbringing, I was taught that women should do all the housework and that they should know how to cook, sew and mend clothes, and take care of children. I grew up in a big house living with extended family members, with aunts, uncles and male cousins around the house. They used to hold parties every now and then and I would observe that women would stay on one side sipping punch while the men drink hard liquor and smoke cigarettes on the other side.

Back then, my extended family and I would also often watch TV together. So early on, I was exposed to so much sexism on TV and movies – from James Bond films to beauty contests. My family thought it was amusing to see James Bond sleep with so many women and just discard them easily. To them it’s okay because “he’s a man.” They also thought there’s nothing wrong with men ogling women in bikinis in a beauty contest.

But now that I’m an adult, I realized just how much women were at a disadvantage back then, and how they were wrongly perceived and treated by society. That’s why I stopped watching beauty contests and James Bond movies because of how they treat women.

It’s rare to see strong female characters on TV and movies back then. But we’ve come a long way now and women in the media and in the entertainment industry are now well represented compared to 30-50 years ago (maybe not completely yet but we’ll get there).

That’s why I’m very thankful for shows like The X-Files, Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Xena: Warrior Princess for having strong female characters that changed television. These strong female characters taught me that women are just as smart and capable as men.

Being Different

July 29, 2019 at 3:39 PM | Posted in Music, Musings | Leave a comment

Do you ever get that feeling when you hear a song for the first time and it feels like it’s speaking to you?

Well that has happened to me before but more recently when I first heard the song, “So Am I” by Ava Max. The song first caught my attention because of its catchy beat but when I heard the lyrics, it felt like it was talking about me.

The song talks about being different from everyone else and embracing that difference. For years, I’ve always felt that way about myself. Having social anxiety all my life, people generally regard my silence and aloofness as weird. I don’t talk much and I don’t smile much, especially around strangers. Like what in the song says, I get weird looks because of it and can hear whispers from people talking about me behind my back. Most of the time, I can feel people’s eyes on me regarding my “weirdness” with interest.

It’s just refreshing to see that there’s a song out there that makes people like me feel like I’m not the only one. That there are others who are like me. The song is genuine, uplifting and generates positivity. And it doesn’t hurt that it’s a danceable tune too.

So Am I

(Artist: Ava Max)

Do you ever feel like a misfit?
Everything inside you is dark and twisted
Oh, but it’s okay to be different
‘Cause baby, so am I (So am I, so am I, so am I-I-I-I-I)

Can you hear the whispers all across the room?
You feel her eyes all over you like cheap perfume
You’re beautiful, but misunderstood
So why you tryna be just like the neighborhood?

I can see it, I know what you’re feelin’
So let me tell you ’bout my little secret
I’m a little crazy underneath this
Underneath this

Do you ever feel like a misfit?
Everything inside you is dark and twisted
Oh, but it’s okay to be different
‘Cause baby, so am I (So am I, so am I, so am I)
Do you ever feel like an outcast?
You don’t have to fit into the format
Oh, but it’s okay to be different
‘Cause baby, so am I (So am I, so am I, so am I-I-I-I-I)

Oh so, dressed so fancy like Sid and Nancy (Yeah)
Walkin’ Killer Queen, gotta keep ’em guessin’
So baby come pass me a lighter
We’re gonna leave ’em on fire
We’re the sinners and the blessings

I can see it, I know what you’re feelin’
So let me tell you ’bout my little secret
I’m a little crazy underneath this
Underneath this, ooh

Do you ever feel like a misfit?
Everything inside you is dark and twisted
Oh, but it’s okay to be different
‘Cause baby, so am I (So am I, so am I, so am I)
Do you ever feel like an outcast?
You don’t have to fit into the format
Oh, but it’s okay to be different
‘Cause baby, so am I (So am I, so am I, so am I-I-I-I-I)

You’re king and you’re queen
You’re strong and you’re weak
You’re bound but so free
(Ah-ah-ah)
So come and join me
And call me Harley
And we’ll make a scene

Do you ever feel like a misfit?
Everything inside you is dark and twisted
Oh, but it’s okay to be different
‘Cause baby, so am I (So am I, so am I, so am I)
Do you ever feel like an outcast?
You don’t have to fit into the format
Oh, but it’s okay to be different
‘Cause baby, so am I (So am I, so am I, so am I-I-I-I-I)

Source: LyricFind

 

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