The Bridget Jones Connection

January 15, 2009 at 3:07 PM | Posted in Musings | Leave a comment

Here in the Philippines, January is the month of weddings. Many couples get married during this time. In fact, a friend of mine is getting married this weekend. And though I’m truly happy for her, I can’t help but have this Bridget Jones moment again. News of friends and acquaintances tying the knot this month makes me all the more acutely aware of the pressure to settle down and get married. I’m never that woman who feels incomplete without a husband or a baby. In fact I’m a fiercely independent woman who doesn’t think about marriage that much.

But when I hit the age of late twenties, family and friends began asking me when I would get a husband (gosh, that is so 1800’s!) and finally settle down. The question didn’t bother me at first since I was more concerned with building up my career that time. But these past couple of years, I get annoyed when friends and family pester me with that question. Just last month, I sent a text message to my college buddy wishing her a happy Christmas. I got a reply from her with a quip, “How are you? Single ka pa rin?”, as if being single is some sort of crime. She is married for about a few years now and has a baby. Ugh! Smug marrieds (as well as emotional f*ckwits) can be so irritating!

I was really irked by that comment. Why do most Filipino women still have this traditional view on women? In this modern times, you would think that society is already through with this old-fashioned and sexist view. But apparently, not in this country. Most of the women I know still believe that a woman has to get married before or when she reaches 30. How sexist and ageist is that.

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